Darren Sproles was a pocket LaDainian ...............              while Edgerrin made it look easy....... Photo by Stephen Dunn - Getty Images                                  Photo by Stephen Dunn - Getty Images

Was there ever a more ridiculous start to the playoffs?  Arizona? The team that gave up on national TV against the Pats just a couple of weeks ago?  San Diego?  The team that had to come back from 4 and 8 to finally finish off the hapless Denver Broncos in the pitiful AFC West?

<>I wouldn’t have ever picked Arizona to win anything… to beat anyone.  My money was on the balanced team, the team with heart, the team with the Rookie of the Year.   It was inconceivable that these Arizona quitters would beat a quality team. 

That they did beat the Falcons quite handily makes me wonder what the heck they were doing and thinking for the last month or so.  It shouldn’t be allowed.  No team that lies down as they did against New England deserves any good fortune, especially if it’s true that good teams make their own luck.

<>Michael Turner would make mincemeat of those quitters, I thought.  Then the big Falcons bruiser started skipping around like some demented ballerina.  He gained less than 60 yards on the day and he looked bad doing it.  He didn’t run hard once.  

The Falcons passing game was equally inept.  Their receivers can’t catch.  Roddy White?  A joke.  Michael Jenkins?  Horrible.  No hands at all.  Ryan would hit them in the hands and they’d just refuse to make the catch. 

<>Meanwhile, the Falcons gave Kurt Warner all the time in the world.  John Abraham?  Nothing.  Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin just ate them up.  In the final analysis, when they finally did fight their way back into the game, their defense let the Cardinal tight end run free up the middle, picking up the first down the Cards so desperately needed. 

So much for risk analysis.  I have seldom felt more sure about any outcome.  The Cards were unreal today.  All of a sudden, they had a running game.  Where the heck had THAT been all year?  When did they learn how to stop the run?  Apparently, it was yesterday.

<>The Falcons made Edgerrin James look like….well….. the old Edgerrin James.  Come to think of it, you couldn’t find one player in red who had a bad game.  But Edge was great, slashing left, slashing right, then BOOM!  Warner to Fitzgerald TD for about 50 yards.  Then it was Anquan Boldin racing down the sidelines for another score after catching a 7-yard pass in the flat. 

Then it got surreal.  Darnell Dockett?  Antrel Rolle?  Touchdown!  Then there was some more Edgerrin.  There was Matt Ryan holding the ball too long in the end zone for an easy safety. What a nightmare!

<>I know I should just be happy for the Cards but it’s tough.  They played really terrific football. Offensively, defensively, on special teams, they were just great.  So I lost a bet.  I’ll get over it, maybe not this year but eventually. 

In the Chargers-Colts matchup, the Chargers punter won the game for them.  Yeah, there was little Darren Sproles hiding behind his blockers and making the Colts look silly.  And yeah, there were the usual suspects, Rivers and a hurt Tomlinson and Gates.  Oh yeah, and the Charger corners were pretty much in evidence too.

<>But the Chargers punter was in a zone, as they say.  The Colts were starting all their drives inside their ten-yard line.  It’s a long haul, trying to drive a team 90 yards time after time after time.  Not even the 2008 MVP, the great Peyton Manning, could do that.  

That punter’s name is Mike Scifres.  I’ll remember that now, even the rather fluky spelling.  Mr. Scifres punted six times for 52.7 yards per pop.  The Colts started drives from their 10, 19, 3, 33, 7, 20, 26, 9, 20, 1, 1 again, and then the19-yard line. 

<>When the Chargers finally did enough offensively to tie the game in regulation, you knew the game was over.  The Colts had seen enough.  It was just the Chargers day. 

Oh well, the games continue tomorrow.  I’ll be picking the Vikings against the Eagles and the Ravens to take out the Fish, Chad Pennington notwithstanding.  How could the Dolphins run the ball against that Ray Lewis and Company?  How can they stop those bruising Ravens runners?

<>How can the Eagles stop Adrian Peterson?  And shouldn’t it be a snap for the tough Vikings to take Brian Westbrook out of the game?  Who else is a threat on that puny Eagles team?  Can a guy who doesn’t know that NFL games can end in a tie really lead his team to victory in the land of Paul Bunyan? 

Hmm, this is all sounding strangely familiar.  I’ve built up this scenario in my head for the Vikings and the Ravens, and it’s hard to imagine my being totally wrong two days in a row.  So, count on it, Donovan McNabb will have the game of his life and Pennington will once again surprise the entire football world by continuing to prevail against the biggest, baddest opponents out there.

<>As far as I’m concerned, Chad has done quite enough already.  His steady performance against the Jets to knock them AND the Patriots out of the playoffs puts him in my good graces until the end of time.  Proverbial justice.  What a concept. 

And, speaking of proverbial justice, why do I get the feeling that, no matter who the Jets pick to succeed Eric Mangini as head coach, it’ll be an abomination.  Any owner stupid enough to take his quarterback’s side against his head coach and the rest of the team pretty much deserves anything the fates can conjure up to torture him.

<>It’s sad, very sad, but in Jets-Land it’s all about the money.  The owner not only doesn’t understand football; he doesn’t even understand human nature.  He just wants a bunch of sycophants to kiss his pharmaceutically-rich butt.  He likes Brett Favre and he’ll be damned if he’ll have anyone tell him differently. 

My guess is that he will be damned.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
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